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Grey divorces hit record high as wives decide it’s time to split

A growing number of older Australians are looking to break-up, often after long marriages, with women leading the charge. It’s a hard decision to make as it typically comes with financial difficulties and emotional trauma.
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Record numbers of older Australians are seeking advice about divorce, with women leading men in the number of inquiries about living alone, particularly over their concerns about superannuation, according to research.

Angela Harbinson, chief executive of The Separation Guide, which helps couples reach a fair and amicable divorce, says: “Older Australians are seeking support online for separation, divorce, co-parenting or to understand their legal and financial options after a long-term relationship ends.”

She says there has been a 20 per cent increase in women aged over 55 asking about superannuation imbalances with their husbands, who have typically been in the workforce longer and have often been better paid, enabling them to build up bigger balances.

Separation and Divorce Advisors’ Jacqueline Wharton, an ex-lawyer, blames the rise on factors ranging from the so-called “empty nest syndrome” that couples face when their children leave home through to economic uncertainty and problems adjusting to retirement.

“Often people decide they do not want to spend the rest of their life in an unhappy marriage,” says Wharton. “They decide prioritising their own needs and being true to themselves is as important as financial security.”

Couples married for 20 years or more deciding to divorce has nearly doubled to around 25 per cent of the total in recent years, according to National Seniors Australia, a not-for-profit organisation that represents Australians aged 50-plus.

Grey divorces are also defying the national trend by increasing as overall rates decline, often creating complex legal, financial and inheritance problems.

For example, The Separation Guide estimates that the number of inquiries from those aged 55-plus so far this year has surpassed 2023 and is more than 60 per cent of last year’s total.

But divorce for older couples can create profound financial and emotional difficulties because there is less time to rebuild finances, the complexity of splitting assets built up over decades of marriage and the impact on inheritances for future generations. This is further complicated by the rise in blended families.

Courtney Mullen (pictured), principal of Fulcrum Family Law, says there is anecdotal evidence of an increase in divorces where partners have already been married two or three times.

About 97 per cent of divorces are resolved by negotiation before going to court, helping to avoid the potential $500,000-plus costs of a full trial.

A do-it-yourself divorce agreement concluded with a legal agreement will typically cost between $5,000 and $10,000, while the average cost of a legally negotiated agreement is about $25,000.

Collaborative divorce is an increasingly popular “bespoke” alternative intended to help resolve disputes involving child support, parenting arrangements and property financial settlements.

It is usually completed in two to six months, depending on the complexity of the case. That compares with the average waiting time for a trial in the Family Court in Sydney exceeding 18 months, with some cases delayed for years.

Collaborative divorces, which typically cost between $20,000 and $60,000, involve an agreement not to go to – or threaten – court action and encourages parties to imagine what kind of family life they want to lead post-divorce.

“Start by getting good legal and financial advice. That way you can avoid mistakes and improve the likelihood that you will make the best decisions from the outset,” Mullen says.

“For example, the capital gains tax on a property, or interest in a property, transferred between spouses following a divorce or separation can be deferred under a binding financial agreement, or arbitration award, called a ’relationship breakdown rollover’.”

Wharton says the courts take “very seriously” the responsibility of divorcing couples to fully disclose all assets, such as property, superannuation, private companies and trusts.

For those that need to double-check there is the Personal Property Securities Register to check registered security interests over personal property and the Australian Securities and Investments Commission’s register of corporate interests. Alternatively, forensic accountants, who are generally less expensive than lawyers, can trawl through bank statements, other financial records and possible overseas assets.

Duncan Hughes

  • Duncan Hughes is a Walkley Award winning finance journalist with more than 40 years’ experience working for publications in Australia, the US, the UK and Asia.




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